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How To Deal With The Stress Of Life And Divorce On Hold And Self-quarantine With Someone You No Longer Wish To Be Married To

Being quarantined together is difficult for everyone. For those couples who were planning to divorce or those in a dysfunctional relationship, it could be a devastating experience.

People are stressed out and emotionally traumatized as it is. When you are in dysfunctional relationship, another layer of stress is added.

I would like to offer few suggestions that might help these couples, while they are quarantined together:

Take care of yourself. Find ways to connect with friends and family via social media.

Don’t make impulsive decisions at the time of crisis.

Mediate your divorce at least partially (many mediators are offering virtual mediation sessions) and outline basic rules on how to co-exist together. Written agreements will help, even though you can’t separate and file these agreements to court. Structuring your days/weeks will help everyone in this situation.

Create an on-and off duty parenting schedule. For example: you can discuss and come up with the schedule on days/times when either one of you is on duty to help your children with their homework. You can also set a clear schedule regarding who and when will be preparing dinner (that person may be responsible for purchasing food and other necessary items on that given week).

Give each other space and take walks by yourself. Having personal space is important and can be very refreshing. Again, please have a very clear understanding of schedule of these walks between each other, so that one of you can stay with the children and not be frustrated and angry with another person. Communication is always a key. In a situation when you are confined together, it is absolutely essential.

Schedule your arguments as tense moments are inevitable. Write out your frustrations in a notebook. Once a week, sit down and share a single criticism of your partner and try to resolve that issue. If you have children, do this as far away from their ears as possible. Children don’t need to hear you argue. They need stability.

Finances: Please discuss how your finances are handled during this hardship. You were planning to divorce or are in a process of divorce when COVID 19 pandemic had started. Now you have to stay together for an unknown period of time. Have a very clear understanding on how you are covering essentials (who pays for mortgage/rent, how you are splitting all other costs while you have to be together). The best thing is to prepare a written document (whether through a mediation process or by yourselves). This will help you to avoid unnecessary conflicts and distress.

You can read the full article here: Coronavirus, Self-Quarantine and Divorce: Experts Share Survival Tips

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