What if both parents believe that their children should be responsibility for their own college tuition; what if these parents live in NJ and are in a process of divorce?
I find it noteworthy that when parents who believe that their kids should pay for their own college education get divorced, the NJ courts can make them pay for college. NJ holds a minority view in this regard compared with most states.
I have had mediating parents tell me that working to provide for their own college education was an important part of their own personal development and family values that they wish to convey to their own children. If you hold a similar view, you need to take certain steps while in divorce mediation.
You need to come up with a very detailed agreement stating the following: all the reasons why you choose to shift the burden of college tuition onto your children, provisions concerning changes in your circumstances, living standards, as well as regularly scheduled mutual updates on each other’s financial circumstances.
What is the likelihood that either parent, or the child, will file an action to compel a payment of college expenses in the future?
If they do, might the court compel divorcing parties to pay for college when they would not have done so had they remained an intact family? No one is immune from such an outcome; however, in my experience parties, who mediate their agreements, honor them in the future. They can revisit the issue and change the terms of their agreement but they will try to stay out of court as much as possible.
I often suggest to parents that they raise their children in a culture where from a young age they understand that they will be paying for their own college. It seems less likely that those children would suddenly institute suit against one or more parents for college costs if that was never their expectation while growing up.
Who knows what the law pertaining to college will evolve into at any given time in the future. There seems to always be some kind of bills pending that might change the parents’ obligations. But to be able to mediate this issue and not to spend vast amount of money on court proceeding is still the best option that the parents have today.