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Wrong Marriage, Right Realtor: A Quick Guide to Finding "THE ONE"

This posting was shared by a real estate agent who works a lot with divorcing couples. Please see her contact information on the bottom of this post. Going through divorce is an extremely difficult process. You are being hurt not just financially but emotionally and mentally as well. Having the support of family, friends, and knowledgeable professionals can help alleviate a significant amount of pain directly associated with going through a divorce. Your Biggest Asset: There are so many very different things you need to consider during a divorce. One of the most expensive decisions you have to make involves your real estate. In most cases your home is your most significant asset so choosing the right realtor is critically important. Below are just a few criteria to look for when making the decisions to choose a realtor that is right for you. Referrals With the real estate market booming and – unfortunately – divorce rates increasing, there is a high likelihood that someone in your close circle of your friends and family already knows a realtor who is right for you. Great many people have already gone through what you are going through now and can give you a lot of relevant information. Do not be afraid to ask – anyone who you trust and respect could be a good source of a referral. Also ask your divorce mediator – they can frequently steer you in a right direction. 2. Research Do your DUE DILIGENCE. Don't rush into settling for just anyone to handle your most prized possession. Look online, schedule meetings with multiple realtors, discuss any concerns you may have, ask a lot of questions. Remember that, as a client you should ALWAYS come first; if a realtor hints that you are “annoying” or “an inconvenience” do not deal with that person. You can always find a true professional who will have your best interests in mind. The “Perfect” Divorce Realtor: There are several important qualities that distinguish a good real estate agent that will be right for you: Trust/Honesty/Respect: Finding a trustworthy and honest realtor is the key. While most agents in the field are good, unfortunately there are some that are unethical. If you ever feel that your realtor is not acting in your best interest, do not deal with that person. If you’re not a priority to your realtor, then they are not right for you. This is one of those situations where the customer/client is always right and that’s exactly how you should be treated. There should also be an understanding of confidentiality. Certain personal and private topics are going to be discussed, and it is important that your realtor will not disclose any of your confidential information. They should not only be keep your secrets but also listen to you without any judgement or criticism. Reliability: You need to be able to count on a word of your realtor. If they say they will be somewhere they should be there. If you schedule a time to meet they should not be late for your meeting. Yes, emergencies happen, however, if there is a pattern of tardiness it might mean that that realtor is not very motivated to work with you. If they don't respond to your calls/text in a timely matter (within an hour or two) that’s a problem as well. They are on your time, not the other way around. Sense of Humor: You will be spending significant amount of time with your realtor. You should be able to have a sense that they are a real person, not just a selling machine. I believe that your realtor should possess a certain sense of humor; it is very important for any relationship including those between a realtor and a client. You spend countless hours together over many weeks/months so it’s imperative that you can laugh together. If you don't feel completely comfortable with your realtor and can’t be yourself around them, it should raise a RED FLAG. Many realtors including myself end up having life-long wonderful friendships with their “clients” long after the “deal” is done. Professionalism: The lucky realtor you end up choosing needs to be professional (yes they are fortunate to have your business and if they don’t appreciate it someone else will). They should be qualified/licensed to implement the services you are in need of. I would also recommend hiring someone who has years of experience in the field. Certain knowledge can’t be acquired other than by spending a great deal on a job and can’t be compensated by other personality traits. I hope this short guide can alleviate at least a small burden associated with finding a realtor during a divorce process. About the Author Ella Abramova is a NJ Licensed Real Estate Agent. Working for Keller Williams, her expertise has been in the areas of residential real estate, including many involving divorce cases, as well as investment properties. Her modality is client-centered where the goals, values, and needs of the clients come above anything else. She is well respected in the Bergen County community and is a wife and mother of two. She can be reached at at KW Village Square Realty, 257 E. Ridgewood Ave. Ridgewood NJ 07450: Office: 201-445-4300 x467 Mobile: 201-410-7401 Email: [email protected] Web: abramovae.kwrealty.com

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Some Useful Tips on How to Cope with Divorce

I was recently invited to collaborate on an expert panel and share some insights on how cope with divorce. Here are my best tips: Grieving and giving yourself time is a huge part of this process, but it's possible that your husband or wife (divorce initiator) isn't allowing you to grieve as they want to move the divorce along as quickly as they can. If you are the non-initiator in this type of situation, it is very important to get help (support groups, therapy, bio-feedback). It will allow you to grieve, to accept the fact that divorce is real and move forward. It is also very helpful to analyze what had happened during your marriage that brought your spouse to such a painful decision. Changing your surroundings can also be helpful. It's common to want to keep the house/apartment as divorce is extremely overwhelming as is. However, moving out, renting a new place or just redecorating an old place could mean a new fresh beginning in your life. You can read the full article here: How to Cope with Divorce https://www.equitablemediation.com/blog/self-care-strategies-for-how-to-cope-with-divorce

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Some Useful Tips for How to Prepare for Divorce

I was recently invited to collaborate on an expert panel and share some insights on how to prepare for divorce and keep it peaceful. Here are my best tips: 1. Educate yourself and know your options: litigation vs. mediation. I've found that when couples clearly understand the difference between those two options, they are able to discuss their issues in a more amicable manner. To find a mediator that couples are comfortable with and both are able to relate. Otherwise one of them will be resentful and might sabotage the process. 2. Be realistic about your goals and don’t feel entitled to the same lifestyle. Dealing with your emotions prior to mediation, during, and after will help tremendously. Anger, resentment, blame, etc. - all are detrimental. When couples are working with therapists, life coaches, etc. - the divorce process is so much easier. 3. Always keep the best interests of the children in mind. When couples in divorce are able to truly follow this, the divorce process becomes a breeze. You can read the full article here: How to Prepare for Divorce https://www.equitablemediation.com/blog/how-to-prepare-for-divorce

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Reviews of Life Insurance Policies

There’s no way to get around it: death is not a pleasant topic of conversation. However, loss does happen and when it does, it’s crucial to know that the people who depend on you are taken care of. That’s why an experienced and unbiased research team spent months analyzing 67 life insurance companies to help single parents. Their goal was simple: determine the most reliable and smartest options that can help offset funeral costs, ensure stability for dependents, and create some semblance of peace of mind. Ultimately, they created a guide that helps walk people through the process of purchasing life insurance, highlights the different factors they should consider, and translates all the confusing terminology. You can see the guide here: www.reviews.com/life-insurance/ I hope that this research would be a useful resource to you; navigating this overwhelming industry isn’t easy — especially for those of us who already have enough on our plates.

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What is the Good of a Good Divorce?

Being a mediator for over 12 years, I often ask myself a question: what is the “good” of a good divorce and why is good ending valuable even when couples don’t have children and presumably will never see each other again following their divorce? What can mediation give to couples besides the obvious benefits of being much less expensive and time consuming? I believe that good ending can bring forth a good beginning. Couples in mediation, while negotiating over their divorce agreements and trying to find reasonable compromises, often reflect on what went wrong and why. This causes them to contemplate on how they can change their situation in the future for the better. If they can sort out some of their issues while they are in mediation, they are less likely to repeat the same mistakes again. To me this is a huge benefit One of my clients once said to me on their last mediation session: I feel like we could have stayed married if we’d communicated with each other as we do now in mediation. I thought to myself that they could have stayed married should they have learned to communicate earlier and thus become a people they are transforming into now by getting a divorce.

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