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What to do when children don't want to go to another parent

When you are in divorce, it is tough sometimes to deal with your kids emotions. For example, your child might show an aversion to spending time with the other parent; this is not an unusual reaction for a child when the parents are divorcing. You are faced with difficult choices: if you instruct your child to spend time with their other parent against their will, they may end up repressing their feelings in unhealthy ways which may lead to serious problems including even a depression. On the other hand, simply allowing your child to follow their impulse may lead to having everyone involved being uncomfortable, resentful and bitter. How do you handle all of this? While you want to acknowledge your child’s feelings, you also won’t want to keep them from developing their relationship with your ex-partner. How do you have this resolved? There are three constructive ways to approach this situation. First, give your child space to express their feelings, encouraging them to speak up about the anger and hurt they are experiencing. Assure them that their feelings are legitimate. If your child is not comfortable speaking with you about their feelings, encourage them to find an alternative emotional outlet, such as drawing or writing a journal, if they are old enough. Second, it’s crucial that you teach your child - by example - the lesson of forgiveness toward the other parent, letting your child see that past wrongs can be forgiven, and wounds can heal. While it may seem to you that your child’s reaction derives from their own pain, it’s important to acknowledge that they may be playing out the anger and hurt that they sense in you. Examine your own behavior and set a tone that fosters mutual respect, cooperation, and forgiveness. Finally, divorce mediation or parenting coordination could be a huge help. It may be worth bringing in a family mediator or a parent coordinator to help both of you to communicate with your child in a productive and efficient way. These people may help you foster a healthy communication between your child and the other parent.

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Mediation for high conflict divorced families

Divorces can be messy. Emotions can run high, making relations strained for high-conflict divorced families. The purpose of divorce mediation is to help ease these conflicts in a way that satisfies both parties. Mediation allows you to find ways to relate to your partner with the help of a professional family mediator. You work together to resolve conflicts and do what is best for all people concerned, including your children. What to Expect in divorce mediation in NJ Divorce mediation is usually something that couples try to do to avoid formal divorce litigation. Legal proceedings in NJ are costly and often harmful emotionally to all of the people involved. Many families in NJ prefer to go down the mediation route to resolve their disputes and move on with their lives. Mediation is often a default method of non-contested divorces in NJ, but there’s also a role for them in high-conflict divorcing families too. If couples are given a choice, many would prefer to part with each other on non-confrontational terms. Divorcees don’t want conflict hanging over them, they would like end their relationships and move on with their lives. Mediation helps to reduce the risk of conflict and opens up conversations so that people can stay on good terms with one another, even in the context of family separation. The great thing about NJ mediation is that the spouses themselves govern the outcome of the process, not a court. When spouses engage in a conversation, they find ways to resolve their issues faster and more efficiently. They, rather than a judge or an attorney, control the outcome of the divorce process. Mediation gives them freedom, especially if they are currently locked in a conflict. How Does Divorce Process Work In NJ? In New Jersey, there are two types of divorce: at fault and no-fault. An at-fault divorce is based on the grounds that your partner did something that is a sufficient reason to end your marriage. In NJ faults include adultery, extreme cruelty, desertion, imprisonment, and so on. Most of no-fault divorces in NJ based on irreconcilable differences between the partners. How much your divorce costs depends considerably on the route you choose. Mediation helps you bring down the costs of your divorce by avoiding legal and courtroom fees which would apply otherwise. In mediation you may hire an attorney only to have a clear picture of what to expect from legal proceedings.

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Sharing the custody - does it have to be split 50/50

Divorce is a tricky situation for all couples, especially when children are involved. However, the fact that you are still united by a desire to do what’s best for the kids should encourage you to work together in order to reach the best agreement. After all, your child is the most important person in the custody proceedings. Most children benefit from shared custody as this allows them to maintain a strong relationship with both parents. One of the big questions you’ll have is whether shared custody needs to be split 50/50. Here’s all you need to know. Child Custody In New Jersey Child custody is primarily split into two elements. Physical custody describes where the child or children will spend their time while legal custody covers the responsibility of decision making. New Jersey is not a 50/50 custody state, but does favor shared custody which involves joint responsibilities and regular contact for both parents. This means that there is a preference towards both parents having a role. Therefore, the most common solution is called Joint Legal Custody. However, it is possible for sole legal and physical custody to be deed the right option when only one parent is up to the task. Shared legal and physical custody is another option, and this is where a 50/50 split is most likely. Shared Legal Custody In New Jersey Shared legal custody on a 50/50 split means that both parents can make decisions and have 50% access. This can be achieved in various ways, including: Split weeks where week A is spent with mom and week B is spent with dad. Alternatively, it may mean having three nights one week followed by four on the next. There are plenty of other ways to establish the 50/50 split, but it is a model that faces problems. Family holidays with either parent can be difficult while the routine is often difficult to find. Besides, parents might not be able to fit their work around a changing schedule. Moreover, the practicalities won’t always work out. So, joint legal custody without a 50/50 split is more likely to be the right choice. Not Using A 50/50 Share The best custody agreement is one that suits all parties. It may be best for kids to stay with one parent in the week and another on the weekends due to their school commitments as well as the careers of their parents. Other splits such as Sunday-Wednesday versus Thursday-Saturday may suit. A non-50/50 share still gives both parents a big say on their child’s upbringing while mom and dad each gain regular contact too. However, it’s a more practical solution as it offers more flexibility that allows parents to work together in order to find the best solution for everyone. In most cases, this means having a primary residential custodian that will make the day-to-day decisions, but the alternate custodian will still gain equal responsibility in health, education, and welfare. Ex-partners should be willing to work together so that the best interests of the child are the priority at all times. Whether achieved through 50/50 or other strategies should be decided on a case-to-case basis.

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Child Custody When Parties Reside in Different States

Going through a divorce can be incredibly stressful for both partners, but the parties that often suffer the most are the children involved. It can be extremely difficult to raise a child when both parents live apart in different states, especially when the child is relatively young. However, there are custody arrangements that can ensure that children will have a positive relationship with both parents no matter how great the distance. In this article, we’re going to explain what those options are and how you can ensure that your child will grow up with both loving parents. Types of custody There are two main types of custody; legal and physical. Legal custody gives a parent the right to make decisions regarding a child’s welfare. For example, they will handle schooling and medical issues. This means that if the parents live in different states but do have a good relationship and communicate on a regular basis, legal custody can be shared but it can be difficult in certain situations for the parent that lives further away. Physical custody refers to the location where the child will live. Again, if both parents have a positive relationship then this can be split, but it’s most common to see the child living with one parent for a third of the year and the other parent for the remaining two-thirds. The most common arrangement for this is to have the child stay with one parent during the school year and the other parent whenever there’s a break such as during the summer or spring. Unfortunately, it’s not always feasible to offer joint custody unless the marriage troubles have settled and the parents are able to have a cordial relationship. Judges typically do not enjoy sending a child all over the country, so it’s possible that physical custody may be transferred to a single parent if the judge feels it’s best for the child. Knowing which state handles the case Understanding where the custody battle will take place can be a complex matter because it’s often unclear what the conditions are. This will usually boil down to a few points: ? Are there existing court orders? ? Where does the child currently live? ? Where did the child live before? ? What state does the child have connections to? These are the most common questions that will be asked and used to determine where the case will be handled. These are often handled in priority. For instance, if there are existing custody orders then they state they took place in will handle the custody battle. However, if there are none, then the home state of the child will be used. This often means that the child has lived there for the last six months. If the child has been moving around and has no home state then the court will consider which is best based on the child’s connections to each state. Contact us today Marriage trouble is never something that you look forward to dealing with as it often pulls children into the line of fire. If you’re planning to enter a custody battle in Bergen County, New Jersey, North Jersey or Paramus, then please get in touch with us as soon as possible so that we can guide you on the best steps to take.

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Divorce When Both Parties Have a Business

Fighting through marriage trouble can be incredibly tricky, but a divorce is often the best option to ensure that you can live your separate lives happily and also ensure that your kids are given the best future possible. However, things can start to get complicated in divorce law especially when both parties have a business. In most cases, a business’s assets will be split between both partners when the divorce happens, but separating and calculating these finances is incredibly difficult for several different reasons. Why is calculating the split so difficult? It’s not just a case of giving half of the shares to each partner. There are many variables to take into consideration such as: Do both partners have equal involvement in the business? Does your spouse have absolutely no knowledge of the business and its assets? Was the business inherited in the past? Did both partners start the business as a joint venture? How much has the business grown since the separation? Has the business declined with the separation? Could factors caused by a partner directly influence the growth or decline of a business? Because of all these different factors, it’s not easy to immediately tell what happens to a business during marriage trouble between a couple. A divorce is a complicated separation and it takes a lot of careful calculations if you want to factor in everything. As a result, you’re going to need a dedicated team of legal professionals to help you ensure that the valuation process goes smoothly and accurately. Valuation of the business The most important step is to value each business fairly. This often means calculating the appropriate value that a buyer would be willing to pay on the open market. This itself can depend on the type of business. For example, calculating net assets is usually suitable for investment businesses, while earnings are used for trading businesses. Valuation of individual shareholdings is also another method, and historical performance is often taken into consideration as well. There are many different ways to value a business, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that the business will be sold and the money split between both parties. While a court can force you to sell the business, it’s extremely rare for this to happen and often seen as a last resort to resolve a case. Other variables include loans that the business owner has taken out or any taxes that have yet to be paid, as every single penny will be taken into consideration to ensure a fair divorce procedure Final words As you can see, it’s almost impossible to make suggestions on a topic so complicated and involved. However, if you are in the Bergen County, New Jersey, North Jersey or Paramus areas and you’re in need of a professional lawyer to help you with your divorce proceedings, don’t hesitate to get in touch with us and we’d be happy to explain the process in greater detail or answer any questions and concerns that you may have.

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